


Bitty Bittle (a Filk)

by Admiral Naismith (Jenrose)



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Filk, M/M, zimbits - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 10:15:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6700864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenrose/pseuds/Admiral%20Naismith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To the tune of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGPwo6oQ-KQ Bonnie Birdy.<br/>A general plot summary of the first two years, set to music.</p><p>Anything under this Pseud was written by my husband, who is well-known in the filk community under another name. I manage it. --Jenrose</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bitty Bittle (a Filk)

**Author's Note:**

> Check, Please! belongs to Ngozi

O, ‘tis of a figure skating lad  
From Madison, GA (Bittle)  
Who’s gone up north to Samwell for  
The ice hockey ballet, singing:

Carpe the day  
A hat trick for the play  
For Samwell is bound for the championships  
And it’s Jack who’ll show the way, Bittle!

On your case, your case, is Captain Jack  
All saturnine and lean, Bittle  
“You’re small and soft as a tadpole, boy  
"You must eat more protein, Bittle!”

Carpe the day  
A hat trick for the play  
Ye canna be soft and afraid of a check  
Ye’ll be the bird of prey, Bittle

A determined look and a hockey butt  
On the ice he would sashay  
Far be it from you to admire the view  
If the team finds out you’re gay!  
So dream your dreams in silence  
Be as terse as Hemingway, Bittle  
When you have a crush on a straight man  
There’s a lot ye shouldna’ say, Bittle!

Carpe the day  
A hat trick for the play  
Just keep it in yer holster  
Or there’ll be ransom for to pay, Bittle

So he’s taken up dibs in the Hockey Haus  
Making pies and creme brulee  
The halo ye see but it shouldn'a be heard  
Turn down the Beyonce, Bittle  
O where is Jack, the tadpole says  
The party’s in full sway  
When the sun goes down and the alcohol flows  
He always hits the hay, Bittle

Carpe the day  
A hat trick for the play  
He keeps to himself in the dead of the night  
And he writhes the night away, Bittle

For Jack had been headed to NHL  
Recruited fore and aft  
But he disappeared in the moment of truth  
And somehow missed the draft  
The man in his room is a blast from the past  
Who’s bit him on the arse, Bittle  
Don’t cry in the hall right in front of his door  
There’s far too much to Parse, Bittle

Carpe the day  
A hat trick for the play  
You’re crying so hard that you never did note  
Their state of disarray, Bittle

So the pucks and the semesters flew  
Till graduation day, Bittle  
And Jack’s signed on to the NHL  
He has na long time to stay, Bittle  
And he’s walked up in his cap and gown  
I guess this is goodbye, Bittle  
It’s really been great, don’t be late for your flight,  
And thanks for all the pie, Bittle

Carpe the day  
A hat trick for the play  
For Jack to get on with the rest of his life  
It’s time he was away, Bittle

Time he was away!  
O, time he was away!  
But let me go back for a minute or more  
I’ve something more to say…….BITTLE!

So across the quad, to the Haus he flew…..

(interlude)

So Jack’s gone into the empty Haus  
'Mid all his pains and hurts  
And there y'are, Bittle, in the room  
A-folding up some shirts  
O Samwell was my second chance  
To erase my reprimands  
I was doing so well until you showed up  
With a pie pan in your hands, Bittle!

So your eyes look up and his mouth comes down  
And he holds you tight just so  
It’s up and away, and there’s no more to say  
So all you say is Oh, Bittle

Carpe the day  
Was that a triple play?  
When he saw your triple axle at first  
He cried, Et tu Brute, Bittle!

O hold me, Jack and hold me close  
And never break away.  
But his phone, it’s buzzed insistently  
He can no longer stay, Bittle

Carpe the day  
It was a triple play!  
When you’ve fallen in love with a straight man who’s not  
It takes your breath away, Bittle

And he has kissed you one more time  
And he breaks off with a moan  
And there is neither sun nor sky  
But leaving you alone, he cries:

Carpe the day  
It’s gonna be OK  
I’ll have to get on with the rest of my life  
But I’ll text you, okay, Bittle?

Carpe the day  
But I’ll text you, okay?  
And Jack is away, leaving Bittle to stay  
With the waning of the day, Bittle

(interlude)

And slowly, slowly, you’ sit down  
Till a buzz comes from your phone, Bittle……


End file.
